Resilience is your ability to bounce back from challenges. It’s not something you’re born with – it’s a skill you can learn, practice, and grow.
Developing Resilience
What is Resilience?
Tree Analogy: Like trees that grow deep roots through weathering wind and rain, we need challenges to develop strength. Resilience helps us navigate stress, overcome obstacles, and keep moving toward our goals—even when it’s hard.
You already have resilience. Think of a time you dealt with stress, overcame a challenge, or showed bravery—that’s resilience in action.
Working With Thoughts & Emotions
Your thoughts and emotions are like weather—sometimes sunny, sometimes stormy. You can’t control the weather, but you can prepare for it.
✅ Practice awareness: Notice and name emotions as they arise
✅ Don’t judge feelings: All emotions are normal. You can feel angry and act kindly.
✅ Build emotional resilience: With practice, you learn to respond—not just react.
Quick resilience boosters
🔹 Hope
🔹 Determination
🔹 “I can do hard things”
🔹 Connection
🔹 “This will pass”
The 6 Pillars of Wellbeing (PERMAH Model)
| Pillar | Workbook Insights & Actions |
|---|---|
| Positive Emotions |
Practice the 3:1 ratio: Aim for 3 positive emotions for every negative one Use an Emotions Wheel to name feelings without judgment Start a gratitude practice: "I'm grateful for…" shifts perspective and builds strength |
| Engagement |
Schedule time for activities you enjoy (drawing, gardening, music) Protect this time in your diary—it's self-care, not selfishness |
| Relationships |
Puppy analogy: Like a puppy exploring from a safe home, supportive relationships give us confidence to grow Identify your support people. Reach out. Belonging builds resilience |
| Meaning |
Connect actions to your core values (connection, honesty, bravery, fairness) Jar analogy: Put your "big rocks" (values) in first—then fit other tasks around them |
| Accomplishments |
Set small, achievable goals. Celebrate progress, not just outcomes Reflect: "How far have I come?" instead of "What haven't I done yet?" |
| Health |
Sleep: Aim for 8 hours; create a bedtime routine Nutrition: More whole foods, water; mindful portions Movement: Schedule walks, try new activities, move with a friend |
Understanding your own thoughts and emotions
Our thoughts and feelings can be tough to handle. But once we are aware of our feelings, and name them, they are easier to understand.
You can use an Emotions Wheel to help you figure out how you are feeling. It is important that we do not ignore or judge our emotions; it is okay to feel happy, sad, or nervous.
The more you practice noticing your feelings, the better you get at handling them.
Emotions Wheel
Hover over a colour to explore an emotion
Hover or click an emotion to learn more
Positive emotions
Positive feelings help us to think better and come up with new ideas as well as stay calm and solve problems.
There is a method called the 3-to-1 rule, which means for one negative feeling, it is important to have three positive ones to stay strong.
To feel more positive, you can practice gratitude – being thankful for all of the good things in your life. By focusing on the good, we can bounce back stronger from challenges.
Hope & Growth Through Challenge
With hope, anything is possible. Hope helps you:
- Set clear goals
- Find pathways to achieve them
- Stay motivated through obstacles
Reflection prompt: Think of a challenge you’ve faced. How did it help you learn or grow?
Bethany’s Wave: A Story of Resilience
At just 13 years old, Bethany Hamilton’s life changed in an instant. While surfing in the ocean, a shark attacked and took her left arm. For most people, this would be the end of their surfing dreams. But for Bethany, it was just the beginning of an extraordinary journey.
The Challenge
Imagine losing something so fundamental to who you are. Surfing wasn’t just a hobby for Bethany – it was her passion, her identity, her future. With one arm gone, the physical challenges were immense. How could she balance on a surfboard? How could she paddle out to catch waves? How could she do what she loved with half of what she once had?
The Choice
Bethany faced a choice that defines resilience: give up or keep going. She chose to keep going. Just weeks after the attack, she was back in the water. It wasn’t easy. She had to relearn everything. She fell more. She struggled more. But she kept trying.
The Growth
With practice, Bethany didn’t just return to surfing – she grew stronger. She adapted. She found new ways to do what she loved. Her trauma rearranged her priorities, helping her see what truly mattered. Through her experience, she didn’t just rebuild her own life; she started a charity empowering others with disabilities, turning her pain into purpose.
Attr: commons.wikimedia.org – troy williams
The Lesson
Bethany’s story shows us that resilience isn’t about avoiding challenges—it’s about facing them head-on. It’s about choosing hope over fear, action over surrender, and growth over stagnation. Her one arm didn’t limit her; it became proof that with determination, anything is possible.
Like Bethany, we all face unexpected challenges. Resilience means choosing to get back on the board, again and again, until we’re riding the waves once more.
Manage Stress in the Moment
When overwhelmed, try one of these quick resets:
- 🌬️ Breathe deeply for 60 seconds
- 🚶 Take a short walk
- 💬 Text a friend
- 🎵 Listen to a favourite song
- 🌳 Step outside and notice nature
Build Habits That Stick
Use the 3-part habit formula:
Prompt
A cue to remember (e.g., "After I brush my teeth…")
Action
A tiny, doable step (e.g., "…I'll write one thing I'm grateful for")
Celebration
Acknowledge your effort ("I did it!")
Practice Kindness
Helping others reframes our own challenges. Try one today:
- Smile warmly at a stranger
- Ask a friend, "How are you really?"
- Send a thank-you note
- Share something that brought you joy